How to Deal With Big Changes in Your Life
Big changes in life in most cases come unexpected. It seems that your life has been carefully planned, thought and organized and, all of a sudden, boom!... and it's all changed within minutes. There is a good saying that "God laughs at our plans", meaning that the more organized, rigid, fixated we are on certain goals, the more traumatic it will be when we realize that those goals are no longer serving us. Flexibility and intuition in combination with perception and knowledge is what we need to guide us through the period of change. Big changes can be related to a traumatic event, loss of the loved one with primary and secondary consequences, loss of stable employment or income, divorce, moving to another country, birth of the child, etc, and it is our core strength if we are equipped with adequate skills and emotional capacities to deal with those changes in a gentle and non-traumatic way. From a spiritual viewpoint it means that life, or the Universe, puts us in a situation where we need to learn our lesson and make the choice, which is right for our further development. I am sure we have all been at the crossroads, where the feeling of uncertainty and loss of direction has been overwhelming...
Here are a couple of friendly advises, based on my own experience on how to deal with change:
1. Take all, even the most difficult life-changing situations, with a degree of healthy curiosity...
Always focus on what you can learn from this situation, what your lesson is, moving forward. Remember that difficulties don't last forever, they are just temporary. Even the most difficult situations teach us to be more human, gentle and tolerant; don't miss those lessons, engage in the process of change rather than hiding you head under the pillow, pretending it's not happening to you.
2. Forget about your life plan altogether
Seriously, get rid of your well-organized neat life plan. There is so much more to life than putting your life plan on paper and sticking to it with no space for change. There are sudden turns, life-changing situations that you cannot plan for, even using the probability theory, That is why you cannot fully and rigidly rely on a well-written plan. It is your way to disappointments, growing anxiety and sadness when your life goes off the planned spin.
I am not saying you should not have a purpose, of course you should, a general clear and concise purpose and mission to move forward to, but leave the minor details to the Universe to polish.
3. Listen to your intuition
It's the voice of your heart, or your subconscious mind in hypnotherapy terminology. Be mindful of this voice and take your time to go into inner self through techniques, available to you, to listen to the voice of your heart. It will never lie to you and you will always be able to recognize the truth within your own self. It will guide you and always give you the answer that is right for you whereas if you only listen to the people around you, your confusion might grow bigger.
4. Always remember that you have a choice
Keep in mind that every person at each particular moment in time has a choice. Everything that is going on with you today is the result of your choice and actions. Use this unique gift wisely and change your life the way you truly want. It is totally within your realm of possibilities, you can do it.
5. You are getting what you need at this moment in time
Be aware that you are getting what you need from the Universe, not what you think you want (and, truly, do you really want it, or is it a wish, implanted into your head by the public opinion and mass-media?!). You will not always get what you desire but you will always get what you truly need at this particular moment in time. Sometimes you will get something that you have never thought about and you may even choose to ignore it for some time. Sometimes you get a gift from life in the form of a catastrophe, for example, the loss of your stable employment may seem a real disaster, but in reality this is your chance to finally have an outside look at your job and finally start pursuing your real dreams and passions, which do not exhaust and drain you, but bring you a sense of fulfillment.
6. Don't allow the fear to bring you back to your comfort zone
The fear will be tormenting you by talking with the pretender's voice in order to make you come back to your comfort and security. So, when this happens it is very important to remember that there is really no fear, it's an illusion, a mirage, that will disappear immediately after you focus on your true goal. Face your fears fiercely and leave your comfort zone , so you can move forward, not backwards.
7. Accept the changes and say 'yes' rather than resist and say 'no'
Don't resist the changes, allow them to enter into your life with gratitude and acceptance. They are needed for you to reflect on your current situation and choosing a better path for the future. If you have to try something that you have never tried before, go for it, get rid of the fear. Possibly, it won't be the best decision of your life but you cannot underestimate the experience that you will gain. And we are getting wiser because of the life experience we accumulate.
In general, accept all the changes as gifts from the Universe with gratitude and readiness! Listen to your hear and guide yourself with the voice of your heart!