“BE IMPECCABLE WITH YOUR WORD”

"The difference between the almost right word and the right word is really a large matter—it's the difference between the lightning bug and the lightning.“

Mark Twain

How impeccable are we with our words? Do we know how to choose the right words, or do we shoot aimlessly from a grenade launcher, not giving the other person a chance to open their mouth and retreat? Everything happens. At least for me. But, like many of us, it is easier for me to see the flaws in others than in myself. I think that only honey flows from my mouth, but unfortunately, not everyone shares my optimism.

I like people who, before expressing their smart thoughts, pause, as if considering their upcoming speech and weighing their words, and then break the silence with witty humor. But such conversationalists are few.

Most of the time, we observe a scene where people compete in wit so much that they completely forget about the topic and simply stop hearing others in their eagerness to express themselves, as if silence would cause a catastrophe and they would no longer be considered respected people with their own point of view.

What is a word? Definitely not a sparrow. It flies away, and you can't catch it, and you can't take it back. Where does our imperfection and disregard for words come from? Naturally, from childhood, when our close ones used words and expressions without thinking, following existing patterns and norms. As children, we were forced to listen to their opinions, and fears gradually began to overwhelm us: indeed, I look like a bag of dust, I am a useless mother, athlete, citizen (insert as needed)...

Someone very beautiful decided to share their expert opinion: "Look, this girl is simply ugly," and the girl, to her misfortune, heard this, and this belief slowly began to take root in her, grow, and develop. And it doesn't matter that she has long turned into a beauty, internally she still believes that she is hideous. From here grow various well-known problems associated with physiological features. But in the beginning, there was the word...

Or, for example, since childhood, you are convinced that you are stupid, again from a casual word of one of your close ones. The pattern begins to take root in you so firmly that you begin to easily justify your not very reasonable actions and deeds, internally telling yourself, "If I were truly smart, I wouldn't have done such stupid things, but since I am a fool after all, then who cares." No trial, no court.

The girl grew up, and although she loved to dance and had a talent for it, she never danced again because the closest person, her own mother, cast verbal spells on her, developing a whole complex of problems in her. Of course, the mother cannot be blamed because she repeated what her mother told her. So we sometimes abuse words, and our children are forced to bear this curse further. It is good if the vicious circle is broken by some impeccable person in the first generation.

The word is very powerful, but also very destructive. Learning impeccability with words means learning to take full responsibility for our words and actions, without condemning or destroying ourselves, going against our own selves, and by no means harming others with gossip, foul language, and wordiness.

Impeccability with words is the first and most important agreement that Miguel Ruiz calls us to in his four, and now five, agreements. He says that our words are pure magic and energy, and whether they are used for the good of the world or against it depends entirely on us.

Over time, we begin to intuitively feel whether we have used words for good or bad, or just in vain, tuning into our inner strings. If you feel internally empty and plagued by a sense of dissatisfaction and concern about what happened, then most likely you used the energy of the word against rather than for, that is, were not entirely sincere and honest, first of all, with yourself.

There are several ways that I have tried, which may help you begin your path to verbal impeccability:

Try to observe when you say something out of habit rather than necessity. For example, how often do we say, "I have absolutely no time to get everything done"? Is this really true, or are we following the habit, and this is not a truthful statement at all?! Ask yourself if this thought reflects reality, or are you just talking hot air?

Gradually move towards positive statements. Instead of saying, "I'm tired as a dog," you can notice, "how nice it is to lie in my bed and relax after a long day." Or instead of the mundane "I'm so busy," you can shift towards "I'm so glad that my day is filled with enjoyable activities." These shifts may be subtle at first, but gradually improve our impeccability with words and also the energy we put into our words. Notice which thoughts improve your sense of well-being and multiply them boldly.

Try not to use the age-old question tormenting the Russian soul, "who is to blame," but instead, use the question tormenting the same soul, "what to do." In other words, think constructively, work on your mistakes, and boldly look into the future, rather than savoring mistakes and blaming the guilty. What's done is done, so let's think about solutions, not problems, and express them in impeccable constructive words.

Align yourself with your inner feelings. If you feel uplifted and joyful, then you have undoubtedly chosen the right words. Gradually, you can learn to think thoughts that come directly from the depth of your true self. There is a universal law that when interacting with another person, you should leave them even a little happier than before meeting them. In other words, wish for others what you wish for yourself, and clothe it in words. You will never go wrong!

And actually, I forgot the most important thing - before expressing a smart thought, take a deep breath, perhaps it doesn't even need to be expressed. Let it hang in the air!